Tuesday, April 04, 2006

...you may want to seek professional help

So just for fun I took the basic stress level test. Here's one link where you can take it

My score was 331. Cool! I thought. Isn't it always a good thing to have a high score? Turns out no, that's not a good thing. Kind of like golf. You want a lower score. So the advice with my score was "You may want to seek professional help."

What does this mean? What do you mean my stress is too high? What do you mean I have too many life changes going on right now? Tell me, tell me now!!!!!!

OK, I've calmed down a little. I didn't need the test to tell me what I already knew. My biggest stressors that are really having an impact are:
Death of a family member
Change in job status
Child getting ready to leave the nest
Major illness
Finishing up my doctorate
Major change in sleep habits

I really need a vacation. I can't remember the last time I took a trip away from responsibility. I need to drag my husband away to a spa, before I get dragged away against my will to a place where you stand in line to get meds.

Although...three hots, a cot, and some happy pills doesn't sound too bad.

Friday, March 31, 2006

is your cat pregnant?

This is a question I often get from visitors to my house. No, my MALE cat is not pregnant I say indignantly! He is just heighth challenged. Really.

The weird thing is he only gets cat food. He doesn't even like people food or anything else but his kibbles. So the vet says he needs to lose weight. Well duh! I could have told you that. I try really hard not to overfeed him. Really! I don't think you believe me.

so he's on a diet. and he is not a happy camper. in fact, i think he's gained weight since his diet started. just out of spite. my husband thinks he's supplementing with outside food. and i mean outside literally.

what's a girl to do?

Monday, March 27, 2006

i need a ride...

so my husband and i bought a harley. i had to laugh later because when we went to a museum exhibit on the history of harleys, we matched the stats for the average harley owner (mid forties, married, college educated...you get the picture). and here we thought we were so cool! my husband has taken lessons and has his license but i am still too chicken to learn to ride by myself. besides i look really cool on the back of the bike (ha ha!)
our first ride was up lookout mountain, which if i had been on the front end where i could see what it looked like as we made the hairpin turns, i probably would have puked. but i got to lean against hubby which was great and just learned to lean the way he leans (which if you've never done, is really hard to do because your inclination is to lean the other way to keep from falling off).
so now we're just waiting for better weather to ride again. it is just amazing what you see of the world when you are on a bike.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

what color green are you?

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you.

Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show.

People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate.

But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

it's 2am do you know where your sanity is?

so i wake up at 2am (2:12 to be exact) every day. sometimes i can go back to sleep but often i wake up every hour on the hour after that until i can't stand it anymore and then i just get up.

it doesn't help that my cat now thinks this is normal behavior on my part.

Of course, once i'm up he thinks it's time to go back to sleep. Easy for him to do!

anyway, it's weird how my mind does this every once in awhile. and on top of that i have really bizarre dreams. like last night i dreamed i was catching baby alligators in my house. i would grab them by the neck to keep them from biting me. which for the most part was working okay. but then i squeezed one too hard and it started suffocating. then i felt bad and decided to kill it quickly by putting it in a ziplock bag.

what is wrong with my mind? what would a dream interpreter say?

really, i am a very nice person. quite normal. Really!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

but she never eats leftovers!

Today i really needed comfort food. Not only am i lost somewhere in the grief cycle, but i may also be losing my job soon or be forced to change jobs or something...

so i rememberd that there was one bowl of chili left from the other night in the fridge. now, no one in my family (husband or teenage daughter) eats leftovers. so when i woke up from my pity party nap, a bowl of chili with some cheese on top sounded really comforting.

went into the kitchen, and before i even got to the fridge, i saw the lid to the tupperware container that held the chili. mind you, JUST THE LID. and when you add that to the fact that my daughter had arrived home minutes before and cooked something in the microwave, I knew i was doomed.

you know how it is when you build something up in your mind and you have that taste in your mouth before you even take the first bite only to have your bubble burst.

so being in the frame of mind i'm in, i made her go to the store and buy me the ingredients to make another batch. which led to a whole nuther headache.

mind you, this is the girl who has been dragged to the grocery store for her entire 17 years on earth. she has seen me shop for food; she has helped pick out items; she has heard me lecture on reading labels and checking prices.

so here was the list i gave her:
  1. onion
  2. lb of beef
  3. 2 cans tomato sauce
  4. 1 can diced tomatoes
  5. 1 can each of pinto beans, chili beans, kidney beans
  6. 1 small can diced chiles

She called me FIVE times from the store!

  1. What kind of beef? (me: ground beef like we always buy when we make chili; her: Oh yeah, huh!)
  2. What size cans of tomato sauce? (me: the medium size like we always buy; her: Oh yeah, huh!)
  3. I can't find chili beans. (me: in the same aisle with the baked beans and canned tomatoes, probably just right where you were; her: Oh yeah, huh!)
  4. Um, did you want all the bean in cans? Cuz I have a bag of the dried pinto beans in the basket. (me: just like the list says, CAN of pinto beans. We've never used the dry kind to make chili; her: Oh yeah, huh!)
  5. What are green chiles? (me: in the Mexican food aisle, the small can of diced green chiles we get to make the chili; her: Oh yeah, huh!)

Now, she comes back to the house, without (YOU GUESSED IT) the onion. I didn't have the heart to tell her. she really does try, but she has two strikes against her right now...she's blonde and 17.

I think she will have to find another way to a man's heart besides through his stomach...

Bottom line, I made my chili and put the cheese on it and chased that down with an anti-anxiety pill and all is right with my world for now.

Monday, March 20, 2006

this, that, and the other

so each day gets a little better and in some ways a little worse. i've discovered that reading blogs really helps occupy the mind. i've been random bloggering (my term i guess for randomly reading through blogs) and have really been entertained. i also feel like i've made some new friends and that always helps a person feel better.

got my dissertation back yesterday and the good news is my advisor isn't asking for a lot of changes. so i made the few changes and now it is on its way to my committee member. fingers are crossed for a quick turn-around. i'm still hoping to walk in graduation in june.

i have now spent 4 days in my pajamas. a new record for me. i'm on bereavement leave and don't really feel like getting dressed. so i'm not.

it's been snowing here all day and the good news is that i don't have to go out in it!